3- you have to watch videos in fast-foward.

4- the only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.

5- you can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without the timer.

6-you’ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

7-your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

8- you chew on other people’s fingernails.

9- the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

10- you can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

11-you can jump-start your car without cables.

12-you don’t sweat, you percolate.

13-you walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.

14-you forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

15- you’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

16- Espresso coffee takes too long.

17- you channel surf faster without a remote.

18- you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

19- you short out motion detectors.

20- you don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.

21- you help your dog chase its tail.

22- you soak your dentures in coffee.

23- your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee and an IV hook-up.

24- you get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.

25- you answer the door before people knock.